From the outside, it may look like I have things together, but in reality, I’m one of the most anxious people I’ve ever met. Every day I struggle to stop a thought spiral of insecurities from overtaking me. Not even my closest friends know this about me.
The thoughts that plague me are things like, “What if I look stupid?” “If I say that, maybe she’ll get offended and think I’m rude.” “If I act like my true self, maybe they’ll find me annoying and I’ll get rejected." I’m the kind of person who will say yes when I really want to say no. I’ll be polite just so that people don’t view me negatively. I worry so much how people perceive me, I often can’t even enjoy my experiences. That said, over the last couple of years, I’ve had some realizations that have deeply impacted the way I make my decisions, and helped me move much closer to a version of myself that does what I want regardless of other people’s perceptions. (I can’t know what they are anyway!) Here they are. Continue reading. Originally posted on Mind,Body,Green.
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June 2023
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