Why is it so hard to break a habit when you know that it’s not good for you?

Chances are, you're experiencing a battle between the conscious and subconscious mind. The conscious part of our mind houses logic, rational decision-making, and willpower. But did you know that this part of our mind makes up only about 12% of our total brainpower? The remaining 88% is ALL happening on a subconscious level.

If you're struggling to change a behavior or habit, it's because on some level there is a subconscious motivation to keep it.

Let’s say you want to lose a few pounds but almost every night before bed you eat a few bowls of cereal. You may consciously understand that this habit isn’t supporting your weight loss goal. But, your subconscious mind (whose job is to keep you safe at all times) says in essence: “But this makes me feel comfort, safety and pleasure.”

In order to change an unhealthy habit we have to build positive associations to a new behaviour at the subconscious level, first. Continue reading.

Originally posted on Mind,Body,Green.

“Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift.” ~Mary Oliver

On the January 17, 2000, I was in a car crash. I was living in France at the time. I don’t remember much about the crash. I know that we all walked out of the car relatively unscathed. Shocked, scared, and confused, yes. Injured, no.

I remember thinking that I should probably call my mum and dad back in England. Tell them what happened. What I didn’t know in that moment was that back in the UK, I didn’t have a mum to call anymore.

That same afternoon, on the 17th January 2000, was also the day my mum had decided to take her own life. 

I found out about my mum’s death standing in the reception of the hotel we had walked into after the crash.

“Liz, she’s gone.”

That’s all I heard at the other end of the phone. It’s all I had to hear. I knew. It was my sister’s voice. She’d managed to track me down in the hotel. Continue reading.

Originally posted on Tiny Buddha.

Plagued by doubts and stresses? Don't try to suppress them. Use these techniques instead.

How do you get someone to think about a pink elephant? Just tell them not to think about one.

Perhaps you've heard of this classic psychological thought experiment that illustrates the impracticality of simply suppressing unwanted thoughts. If not, give it a go. Attempt not to think of a pink elephant for a few minutes and see just how often Dumbo keeps popping into your head.

The same thing happens every time you remind yourself to stop stressing about your business or worrying about professional or social failure. The more you resist a thought, the more power you give it. But if trying to mentally muscle your way past negative thoughts doesn't work, what does?

Psychology, it turns out, doesn't just have a handy thought experiment to illuminate the problem, but also several suggested solutions. PsyBlog recently rounded up a long list of them culled from a journal article on the subject (though the post notes that some of these ideas are only supported by preliminary studies and require more research). If you're plagued by doubts and stresses, stop trying to white knuckle your way through them and give these alternate approaches a try. Continue reading.

Originally posted on Inc.com.

As a therapist who helps women manage career stress and relationship issues, I find that the root of many problems we face in these areas have to do with self-esteem. Particularly, too many of us underestimate ourselves on a regular basis, and often in ways we're unaware of.

What I’ve found in my practice is that dissatisfaction with our personal and professional lives is typically tied to self-esteem. When we fail to appreciate ourselves, we accept being treated poorly at work or in relationships because we forget that we deserve better.

If this sounds familiar and you feel like your self-esteem needs a boost, read on for 10 simple ways to remind yourself how amazing you are. Continue reading.

Originally posted on Mind,Body,Green.